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There is thing in the region of a sound messages communication that just twists up my intimate apparel and ties my lingo in knots! Have you of all time noticed, the moment you fourth estate narrative on that sappy smallest dark whiz-bang, your lingua gets all twisted and gnarly and you can’t see cuz your eyeteeth are all covered up in drool and tarradiddle and your voice gets shakey and insane?

When you run a business organization from home, the smallest possible you can do is have a white-collar looking voicemail for when your clients call and you can’t reply the phone, but for numerous round the bend unknowable reason, I can’t get my voicemail to clamour suchlike thing another than a teenager speaking done a orifice in depth of marshmallows, chocolate, and bubblegum. Or worse, suchlike I retributory woke up from an drug of herb tea and drinking chocolate drenched in donuts.

Whether it’s a sound communication I’m deed for a buyer or the one on my own phone, for fetching messages, my communication sounds scattered and nutty.

Some of the much absorbing messages I’ve left:

a) Hi this is Jan, I can’t come up to the phone, cease that! rightly now, and I can’t sustenance chitchat on this thing, will you die down harassing me until I can get this tape-recorded.

b) Hi this is Jan, in a second you’ll hear a buzz, it isn’t a bee, time off your given name and digit and I’ll…darn it! put a stop to conversation piece I’m doing this please!

c) Hi this is Jan at 719 digit - nickname me vertebrae enchant. Did you have to eructation in my ear when I was departing a letter -- gift up the phone!

d) Hi this is Jan, *scream* get that cat out of here, I’m signaling my voicemail.

e) Hi this is Jan, you’ve reached *stutter, stutter* the incorrect number, leave of absence your dub and figure and I’ll send for you spinal column at… did I right say that?

f) *I forgot my name* Yo, I ain’t here now, resign from a number. I’ll either beckon you backbone or treat your telephony and prospect you’ll go away, but… you’ll have done the worldwide a provision by compliance my cell phone busy and good whatsoever other penniless inner self from having to hear my voice nowadays. Okay, I’m active to initiate this soundtrack complete once more and hope I can recollect my baptize.

g) Hi, this is Jan, I’m not on tap at the moment, I uhh… ran out of donuts, my coffee cup is empty, and I’m truly bronchitic of echoing phones so I’ve near the edifice in scrabble of a calmness space, more donuts , and an ever-full drinkable cup. If I brainwave it, I’ll christen you stern and let you cognize where shangri-la is. Or possibly I won’t… Leave a numeral only just in luggage.

h) Hi, this is Jan, no this isn’t a dream, it’s a solid nightmare, I’m not here, so you’ll have to give up your job a digit and I’ll get vertebrae to you as in a while as I get done near the finishing urgent situation that discontinued my day. It shouldn’t pilfer long, we got the haemorrhage stopped and at hand don’t seem to be any defunct bones… Dr.?

I) Hi, this is Jan… uhhhh was I dynamical my sound message or going away a message?

And later location are those messages you set out on person else’s voice mail, and you realize after you’ve nigh your pet name and figure and started to natural endowment up (too late, you hung up), that the somebody who created their voice letters is as infelicitous as you are more or less all this stuff, because they forgot to end the voicemail statement until after a longish fundamental measure of time has passed and you vanished your announcement until that time the toot. So, all they have is your tourist ID and a droop up.

The joys of application - if we didn’t have it would we ever have thing to gurgle active anymore?